“No one has ever become poor by giving.”
~ Anne Frank

With Halloween almost upon us, many of us are already starting to think about purchasing holiday gifts for our friends and family members. With the current supply shortages across the globe, economic advisors are suggesting we shop earlier than usual if we have important gifts in mind. (With four grandchildren, my ears perked up when I first heard this!)

In addition to giving gifts, this is the time of year when we tend to be more generous to strangers, giving to the many nonprofits that offer services to them. This year the need is even greater than usual.

In our church communities we’re advised to think about giving more than just financial gifts. True stewardship, the Franciscan brothers teach, involves the gifts of our time, talent, and treasure. Similarly, Buddhists talk about three kinds of generosity:

-Material giving
-Giving freedom from fear (protection, counseling, or solace)
-Spiritual giving (wisdom, moral or ethical teaching, and helping people to be more self-sufficient and happier).

While it’s rewarding to give gifts to loved ones and contribute to deserving charities, there’s another type of generosity that’s much harder to extend to others: generosity of spirit. In order to truly embrace our fellow brothers and sisters, it’s important for us to be kind, good-hearted, and charitable in our thinking.

This type of gift requires so much more of us than opening our checkbooks. It demands that we show sympathy and understanding to our loved ones. It asks that we accept what we perceive as other people’s mistakes, foibles, and quirks. And it requires us to forgive them when they disappoint us.

We know how it feels when others bestow these beautiful gifts on us.

When others are patient with us, tolerant, open-minded, and big hearted, we feel well loved. When they give us their time and attention, when they listen to us and offer advice that’s in our best interest—we treasure these gifts far more than the phones and watches we find under the tree.

My dad, who was one of the most generous people I’ve ever known, exemplified this generosity of spirit. We were fortunate to grow up with such a fine role model. For example, frequently after a visit from out-of-town guests, long before the days of GPS, he would worry about whether family members would be able to find their way out of our neighborhood, especially during the heavy snows we got in Philadelphia. He’d always get out his map to start to show them the route. More often than not he’d end up just jumping in his car and instructing them to follow in their car as he led them to the entrance to the highway.

Dad was a devout Catholic and always credited his moral development to his time at St. Francis College (now University) in Loretto, Pennsylvania. His favorite hymn was “Make Me a Channel of Your Peace,” the lyrics of which were adapted from the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi. He talked to us often about how important it was to take care of others, and reminded us that “it is in giving that we receive.”  

Instinctively we know that these words are true, as we all feel an extra bit of joy in our hearts after helping others.

But since his time we’ve learned that there’s actually scientific proof of it. I inherited my dad’s scientific mind, and I love when things we feel or observe are backed up by research. Multiple studies have shown that the reward or pleasure centers of our brains light up as strongly when we give to others as when we receive. And newer studies have shown that the joy we feel when we are charitable with others is longer-lasting than the joy we feel when others give to us.

It even makes us feel good when we witness others performing charitable acts, which is why I’m a fan of shows like CNN Heroes that feature inspiring stories of everyday people changing the world. In so many cases, new charities are forged when one person sees a need and is moved to take on the cause.

This is the essence of spiritual giving.

Often these folks who jump in to help don’t have much themselves, which is perhaps why they are so sensitive to the need. As others begin to hear about the causes and pitch in, the charities inevitably take on lives of their own. Before long the new entities are accomplishing far more than their founders ever imagined.

Here are the 15 Hero nominees for this year. The stories of these amazing helpers are uplifting and they remind me that so many people are inherently good. As an interdependent species, we are hard-wired to take care of each other.

Our generosity is often a natural outgrowth of our compassion.

When we see a need, the tug on our hearts moves us to do something. If you’re interested in learning more about this contest, “CNN Heroes: An All-Star Tribute,” will be shown on Sunday, December 13th. On the show, the top recipient is chosen as the CNN Hero of the Year and receives an additional $100,000 to continue their work.

Each of us has it within us to be generous in spirit, but if we haven’t been taught the concept, or we’re not in the habit of it, we may have to dig deep to find it. As motivation, we can use the knowledge of how it makes us feel when others extend these types of kindnesses to us.

As you begin to make your lists in the next few weeks in order to get an early start on your shopping, consider what interpersonal gifts you want to offer to others this holiday season. As we know, the best presents come from the heart, and require some effort on our part.

Open your heart and let your generous spirit guide you.

Affectionately,

Elaine