“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.”
~ Helen Keller

Last week I did a lot of weeding and mulching in preparation for a visit by our kids and grandkids. I worked outside every morning for a few days. Our lawn is supposedly fescue, as is typical in our area, but there are various other grasses mixed in, especially centipede. Where it grows in patches on one side of our yard, I love it, because it’s thick and soft on the feet. But as an invasive weed where it sneaks into my planting beds, it’s my nemesis.

I supposed it’s named “centipede” because it creeps along in stringers. You can pull and pull on them—my gardening friend jokes that they go all the way to China. Ironically, as I learned when I researched it for this post, the grass (or weed, depending on your perspective) actually comes from China!

Sometimes you get lucky and yank a whole 3- or 4-foot length of it out at one time, which is so satisfying. But it has incredibly persistent roots that often have to be dug out.

I noticed something curious while I was working. Where the weed was growing in softer, looser soil, or even mulch, it came out fairly easily. But where it grew in the clay and rocky areas, it was stubbornly embedded.

I would think that the reverse would be true: that it would be easier to remove in those areas because it would be hard to attach the stringers to such dense materials. As I was struggling with the weed, I kept thinking: I’m a pretty strong girl! How can a plant, made up of tiny cellulose fibers, be so incredibly tough that I have to use more than one tool and all the power I can muster just to detach it? It’s like it was holding on for dear life.

Which got me thinking about our lives, and how we, too, grow stronger when we go through rough patches.

My mother used to tell me that because I’d faced some tough challenges as a young adult, maybe the rest of my life would be more carefree. Perhaps I’d already paid my dues.

I loved the sound of that and wanted to believe her!

She was right, as it turned out. Just not the way I understood her.

I thought she meant that because I’d already had my share of troubles, I wouldn’t encounter as many in the years to come.

Ha! Of course that wasn’t the case.

We all struggle throughout our lives. Some more than others, but in the main, it’s unavoidable.

But because I’d had so much to deal with as a youngster, I grew up quicker than some people.

As the 1978 Gloria Gaynor hit goes, “I grew strong. And I learned how to get along.”

I learned to adapt. I became resilient. I came to expect change. My mantra became, “It is what it is,” because it moved me toward acceptance.

And at the same time, I learned to be grateful, and to appreciate the rich pageant of life.

You did the same thing.

We have all learned so many lessons over a lifetime of dealing with our struggles.

We didn’t want the struggle, of course. We railed against it. It was so hard. It was so unfair.

And yet, over time, we learned to accept what life threw at us.

How did we grow stronger through experience?

By persevering.

By facing things we hadn’t faced before.

By walking through turmoil we couldn’t imagine going through.

By trial and error, testing things out, and using our imaginations to find creative solutions.

And now we are so much better equipped. We can be carefree, because we have proved ourselves capable of handling adversity.

We no longer have to cling on for dear life to what was.

We can regroup, make plans, and get excited about the future because we have been toughened up from the rocky road we’ve traveled.

We have survived, and will continue to do so!

Affectionately,

Elaine