THE AUTHENTIC LANE—Exploring Our Relationships. Discovering Ourselves.

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To Free up Energy, Take Care of Distractions

Photo by Nubelson Fernandez on Unsplash

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”
~ John Wooden

This week I received an email from my sister-in-law with a subject line of: “I’m in LOVE!” Given that she’s been married to my brother for 40 years, I was a bit confused.

Then I read her first line: “I am in love, love, love!!!  A new love!  Are you nervous?” I figured she was leading me on, but I wasn’t sure where she was going with it. It turned out she had bought herself a new Apple laptop. Whew! (Not that I was worried, Bro, given the wonderful husband I know you are.)

She continued: “It’s so fast! It’s wonderful! I can use it anywhere at all!

I was happy for her. She does a lot of photography work and has made so many family memory books for us over the years, I’ve lost count. She enjoys being creative but struggles mightily with her equipment, often turning to her sons, and now her grandson, for tech assistance. I’m thrilled for her that she treated herself to a new, fast computer.

Why do we often torture ourselves for too long before taking a proactive step to improve our lives?

I’ve mentioned before that I’m a Stephen Covey fan (of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People fame). “Sharpen the Saw” is probably the habit of his I refer to most often. Since I’m so visual, I love the metaphor of the dull saw, and the concept makes perfect sense. Too often we try to do a task limping along on old or inadequate equipment. It’s important to stop at times and do something that makes us more efficient.

But if you’re a high achiever, and tend to work full speed ahead, focusing on one project after another, it’s hard to take a break to look at your processes.

My sister-in-law’s purchase brought to mind a book written by a friend of mine, one I should re-read once a year because the concepts are so helpful. The book is called How to Do It All: The Revolutionary Plan to Create a Full, Meaningful Life While Only Occasionally Wanting to Poke Your Eyes Out With a Sharpie by Linda Formichelli.

Isn’t that the best book title? In it, she shares tips about how to maximize your productivity. The title of my favorite chapter is called “Become More Intolerant.”

Say what?

No worries. It’s not how it sounds. 

In Chapter 17 Linda passes on a tip she learned from life coach Kristin Taliaferro. The coach suggested she make a list of 100 “tolerations”—all those little things that bother you every day—and to set aside some time to knock them off her list. The theory is that tolerations drain your energy and clutter your life to such an extent that you have no time or mental space for anything else.

“Getting rid of tolerations opens up space so good things can flow in,” Kristin says.

At first you might be hard-pressed to come up with 100 things in your life that bug you to no end. But if you do an inventory of the major areas, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your list expands. Think about your:

-Health
-Home
-Career
-Equipment and appliances
-Environment
-Time
-Relationships
-Finances

Once you have your list, you can start taking care of your tolerations one by one. You may have to experiment to find out what works for you. You can conquer one category at a time, such as catching up on all your medical appointments, rendering that area stress-free for a bit. Or you can choose one room at a time, or spend a half hour per day on just a few items.

The right method for you is the one that works. 

“Banishing your tolerations will help you feel more motivated, energetic, and emotionally free,” says Linda.

Think of this: If every time you walk into a room, you notice that a lightbulb needs to be replaced, or a smudge on the wall needs to be touched up, you’re using precious mental energy having those same thoughts day after day.

I work at a desk in my kitchen, and for a while there was a branch just outside my window that would catch my eye every time the wind blew. I finally went out and trimmed the branch back a bit so I wouldn’t be distracted by it. These are the things to look out for, the ones that pull us away from the work at hand and, even if only for a moment, cause a recurrent thought about something we need to take care of.

It’s been five years since I first read Linda’s book, and I’ll have to say, I’m not making as much progress as I’d like with my tolerations. I’ve got the concept down, and have shared it with others before, but it’s time for me to make a new list and start tackling it.

“If at first you don’t succeed…”

What’s on your list? In line with another one of my favorite concepts, that of taking baby steps, how about if each of us make a starter list of 20 items. And then take what Linda calls the “hard-but-fun” step: crossing them off one by one.

I’m looking forward to the feeling of accomplishment I get, as well as the freedom from so many distractions.

How about you? Are you in?

Affectionately,

Elaine