About

ELAINE KLONICKI
Creator and Editor

Hi! I’m Elaine. I’m a freelance writer and blogger. I enjoy writing about psychology and personal growth, parenting, family, and relationships. I have a bachelor’s degree in psychology from North Carolina State University. I’m the author of two books: All on Account of You: A WWII Love Story and Need to Talk? Getting the Most from Therapy (currently being updated). A former technical writer, I’m also an independent copy editor with a certificate from the American Copy Editors Society through Poynter University.

CINDY BRODY
Contributing Editor

Cindy and I have collaborated for over 20 years on books, articles, and essays. She has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of California, Santa Cruz. She has worked as a library assistant and taught EFL, ESL, and Italian. A seasoned independent copy editor and proof reader, Cindy provides valuable feedback on each post, suggesting tweaks that improve clarity and enhance the reader’s experience.

A Little Bit About Me

I’ve been on a quest to learn about people for as long as I can remember.

As the youngest of eight children, each with personalities as different as possible, I’ve always been fascinated by what makes people tick.

Despite that, I majored in textile engineering for my first two years of college. My mother was a dress designer, my father was an engineer, and at that age, without a strong sense of self, I was a people pleaser.

When I was 19, I got married, had a baby, and dropped out of school. Two years later, I started psychotherapy (counseling) to deal with the challenges of being in a young marriage. The whole emotional world that opened up to me changed my life.

Discovering the World of Feelings

As was typical of the greatest generation to which they belonged, my parents had little understanding about emotions, and therefore had no language for talking to us about our feelings. Starting therapy was the beginning of my quest to discover who I was and what I might be able to offer the world once I healed some of my childhood wounds. After realizing that the marriage could not be saved, I went back to college and changed my major so that I could study psychology and learn even more about this exciting new arena. (It was a serendipitous decision, as I met my second husband there.)

When I graduated, motivated by the opportunities in the high-tech region where I live, I took a long detour to work as a technical writer in the computer field. Those were hectic years as we had a second child and my husband finished his doctorate and landed a job at a major computer company. Over the years I worked for several small computer companies where I wore many hats, including those of human resources and employee development. I used to view my years in the high-tech world as me getting sidetracked, but I see now that it was a fortuitous detour, as I picked up many skills along the way that have served me well as a freelancer.

Sharing What I Learned

During those years, in private conversations when I worked in employee development, my colleagues would open up about their personal problems, and I found myself recommending therapy to many of them. Some were receptive, but had no idea how to get started, so I imparted what I knew and some of the concepts I had learned. Eventually I felt the pull to write about my psychotherapy experience—to save others some of the trial and error that I’d gone through. I self-published my first book, Thinking About Therapy? which I’m in the process of updating.

Around then I decided to quit my job and become a freelancer, which would allow me to spend more time with the kids. I began writing articles, essays, and eventually landed a monthly column in The News & Observer. I joined a writers group, studied copyediting, and started to offer my services to other writers to help them become published.

I learned that writers don’t just love words, most of them are sensitive souls (like me!) who have a strong desire to educate and help others. They are innately curious, and freelancing allows them to research in depth any topic that interests them. I realized how well I fit that description. It took me longer than most, perhaps, to find my true calling as a writer.

Moving Closer to my Authentic Self

I’ve read psychology and self-help books for most of my life, always curious about how to make life better. Several years ago I joined a “life study” book club where we do meditation and study spiritual authors like Eckhart Tolle, Michael Singer, and Aila Accad. I’ve had a second major awakening in my life as I’ve realized the extent to which we are capable of creating our own happiness by learning to accept and be grateful for our lives as they are, and not as we would wish them to be.

We are the “gatekeepers” of our own thoughts, and we are capable of managing them, as well as our emotions, to better serve us. It’s not easy, and it takes regular and consistent practice. Each author we’ve read has given us tips on how to transcend the trials and tribulations of our everyday lives in order to experience greater joy and happiness. Inspired by my dad, I’m a firm believer in continuous learning throughout life, and I’m on the early part of this particular learning curve, but I can see and feel a bit of progress and it’s exciting. A lifelong Catholic, I’m enjoying studying a bit about other religions and religious traditions, all of which add to my understanding of the human condition.

To Teach is to Learn Twice

They say the best way to learn something is to teach it to others. A bit of an introvert, my way of doing that is through my writing. I like the idea of inspiring people with my words as so many others have inspired me. It gives me energy. These days my focus is on sharing what I’ve learned about personal growth, spirituality, and the relatively new field of positive psychology, which studies the factors that contribute the most to a well-lived and fulfilling life.

I’m an optimist, and I love the idea that every day we have a new chance to make our lives, our relationships, and the world a little better. If you feel the same, and want to learn more about how to make the most of that chance, click SIGN UP below to begin receiving email updates from The Authentic Lane whenever new posts are available.

I’d love to hear from you! Please leave comments on my posts and I’ll respond when I can. And remember to share your favorite posts.

If you want to know a bit more about me (and especially about my quirks!), here are 10 Things You Don’t Know About Me.