Enjoying our Twilight Years

Photo by Elaine Klonicki

“One day you will look back and see that all along you were blooming.”
~ Morgan Harper Nichols

I’m still thinking about our recent family reunions, and the snippets of conversation I had with so many people:

“Where are you living now?”
“How many grandchildren do you have?”
“Do they live nearby?”
“Isn’t it the best?”

Other than those inquiries, as the conversations continued, I noticed for the first time how much talk there was about knee replacements. One might think it came from the aunts and uncles but, no, it was from my generation!

My cousins range in age from their mid-40s to early-80s. Since I was born in 1957, at the peak of the baby boom years, there are quite a few close to my age. Most are in good health, but a surprising number are getting ready to have joint surgery, have just had it, or are anticipating having another one soon.

I’ve read that Baby Boomers are the generation most likely to be in denial about aging. We want to stay active, so we’re getting our body parts replaced earlier rather than later so we can keep on truckin’. (Remember that hippie phrase that became such a cultural phenomenon?)

As often happens when I’m thinking about a topic for my posts, several articles on aging came to my attention this week. The first gives credence to the idea of being in denial about it. Without knowing it, our generation may actually be onto something.

Research shows that the best way to achieve longevity is to think positively about aging, which involves focusing more on what you’re gaining than what you’re losing.

In other words, much as society tells us that we’re less valuable when we’re “over the hill,” it’s more helpful to think that over time we’re improving like a fine wine. In addition to these 10 Best Things About Growing Old, seniors often cite a wider perspective, emotional maturity, feelings of appreciation and gratitude, and deeper connections with family and friends as the elements of their lives that most give them meaning at their age.

Of course it’s impossible to ignore the age-related physical issues that arise over time. (Oh, those creaking bones!) According to the authors of the first article I linked to above, “It’s still important to focus on what’s happening to your body in the loss department when something isn’t working right from a physical or health standpoint. However, looking at the big picture, letting yourself become demoralized by these changes can only make matters worse.”

It's much more helpful to appreciate all that we have gained through experience that makes our lives so enjoyable at this stage. Think of all the useful information and life hacks we know, and the mistakes we’ll never make again! By changing our focus to a “gain-related mentality,” we can actually trick our bodies into lasting longer.

As my husband and I are turning 65 this year, and can no longer avoid the label “senior,” or the deluge of Medicare-related mail we’re receiving, this topic is top of mind for us. And obviously, I write about what I think about. Here are some of my previous posts that address various aspects of aging:

Seniors are worthy of great respect for their many contributions.

Our scars are a testament to our struggles.

We don’t have to look back with regret.

It makes us happy to look back on the special events in our lives.

Life is a work in progress. Our metamorphosis will never really be complete.

Now that we realize that all along we’ve been blooming, we can continue to grow and change even in our most senior years.

The message in all the resources in this post is that we are so much more in control of how well we age than we tend to believe.

Remember when we were being too rambunctious as kids and were told to “act our age”? Now, as so many of us are heading into retirement, we may be well advised to do the opposite. As Baby Boomers, we’ve never played by the rules anyway.

We don’t have to adhere to any of the old standards about what the elderly can do.

Rather than let the idea of growing older depress us, we can take many positive steps, both physical and mental, to look and feel young, so that the best is truly yet to come.

 Affectionately,

 Elaine