Taking Pride in our Family Heritage

Photo by Elaine Klonicki

“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them."
~ Desmond Tutu

This has been a summer of reunions.

I’ve mentioned before that I come from huge Irish families on both sides. My dad was one of 10, and my mom was one of nine. Each of their siblings was married and had between three and 12 kids.

My mother’s side has been having a reunion every two years for quite a while now. My dad’s side has been talking about having a reunion for quite a while now, and is finally doing it. :)

My mom’s clan, the Courtneys, gathered in Ephrata, PA, east of Harrisburg, in late July. There were about 80 of us. These events typically start on a Friday afternoon when we all meet up at the hotel. My siblings and I have dinner together that evening to ensure that we get a little time with each other. The weather was perfect all weekend, and the orange sunsets in the rolling hills made our experience there even more special.

On Saturday, groups of us often take a tour of the area. This time we visited the site of America's first communal religious society, the Ephrata Cloister. The land and original cottages and communal buildings were well-preserved, and the story fascinating. It’s Amish country, and we saw some horse-drawn carriages, which brought back memories of our Sunday drives in the area west of Philly where I grew up.

On Saturday night we typically have dinner in a banquet hall (this year it was the VFW) followed by fun festivities which vary depending on who is doing the planning. The theme for 2022 (Oh, yes, we do themes!) was “patriotism,” and we were treated to a slideshow, set to music, of all of the family members who had served in the military or were first responders. It was amazing how many there have been! It was surprisingly moving, and made me feel proud of our contributions as a family across several generations.

On Sunday we attended mass together, and sat in a section reserved for us. There’s a special feeling that comes with belonging to a huge group of people who are related to you—I felt it especially at church since weekly mass was such an integral part of our upbringing. Courtneys are strong singers so we represented well!

This coming weekend the Luddy family (my dad’s clan) is gathering in Altoona, PA, where both of my parents were born. There will be about 170 of us. We plan to tour St. Francis University where my dad went to college, and to go to mass at The Cathedral of the Blessed Sacrament, where my parents got married.

Before my mom passed away, I wrote a book about their romance which includes over 50 love letters my dad had written to her. It’s called All on Account of You, which is the title of a song he wrote for her. I’ll be thinking of them as we “ride the ridges,” as my dad used to call it, of the beautiful Allegheny mountains.

I’m a bit sad that a cousin my age who went to my elementary school will not be able to make it. We have reconnected through Facebook, and this week we had a wonderful phone conversation. We had an instant connection, discovering so many things we have in common. Oddly, one of them is that her last name differs from mine by just one letter. Both of us married Polish guys, although her hubby is from eastern PA and mine is from the western part of the state. We promised to keep in touch, and to investigate the genealogy for our husbands’ families to see if they might actually be related. Both guys had heard that some of their relatives had their names inadvertently spelled wrong when they came through Ellis Island, so I think there’s a chance.

Before the reunions, we set up a Facebook page for each extended family, and the cousins have been chatting away. The best part is seeing all the photos they’re sharing.  It’s interesting how each family has their own collection of photos that other family members haven’t seen. I’m loving the ones of my grandparents when they were younger. A bonus is that some of my aunts who are on Facebook are supplying information about who’s in the pictures.

It’s a unique experience being part of two massive families like ours. Although different in temperament, both families share a strong sense of values rooted in their Catholic faith. They are good, hardworking people, and are really likable. I’ve always had the comfort of knowing that if I ever found myself without a roof over my head, there are people who would take me in in a heartbeat.

At their best, families sustain us. They give us a solid foundation from which we can grow. I’ve been thinking today about my friend and mentor Earl Hamner, Jr. who wrote The Waltons TV show, and his touching narration about his own family and heritage. These words from an episode called “Founder’s Day” are some of the loveliest in the series:

“I have walked the land in the footsteps of my fathers. Back in time to where the first one trod, and stopped, saw sky, felt wind, bent to touch Mother Earth.....and called this ‘Home.’ This mountain. This pine and hemlock, oak and poplar. Laurel, wild, and rhododendron. Home and mountain. Father, mother. Grow, too, the sons and daughters. To walk the old paths. To look back in pride in honored heritage. To hear its laughter and its song. To grow, to stand and be themselves, one day remembered. I have walked the land in the footsteps of all my fathers. I saw yesterday and now look to tomorrow."

Here’s a clip of the narration, so eloquently spoken in Earl’s own voice.

This summer I’m feeling doubly blessed to have these two opportunities to walk the land of my ancestors and to look back in honored heritage.

Affectionately,

Elaine