“To transform yourself, you don't need to do big things. Just do small things in a big way.” 
~ Rahul Sinha

What would we do without HGTV, especially during Covid? It makes me happy to see so many homes and neighborhoods across America being transformed, and to see old things being reclaimed instead of discarded.

My mother went to design school in the 1940s, and her motto was always, “Make things beautiful.”

This year, instead of being passive viewers, many of us are actively engaged in our own fixer upper projects. Stuck at home for so long, we’re looking around and seeing things as if it were for the first time. Many of us are reallocating the money we’re used to spending out in the world and are using it to transform our spaces.

It’s hard to say what makes us decide to make a change on our houses after looking at the same tired walls for so long. One day we just decide to take the plunge. We head to the home improvement stores for supplies, and off we go!

Similarly, we all have times when we’ve grown tired of ourselves and decide to make a change.

Maybe we’ve noticed that our edges have become a bit worn, and we need some sprucing up. It can start with the decision to fix one little thing, and then we notice one more thing, and one more thing, and before long, we’re almost a new person.

Along those lines, this is my husband’s favorite house story. I know you can relate.

A few years after we moved to our current house, our adult kids were home for the holidays when the TV in the upstairs den went out. I should have known better than to let the “boys” take hubby shopping. They came home with a 42-inch screen—on sale!—to replace our ancient, boxy CRT model. Of course, the new one didn’t fit into the existing, 1990s entertainment center, so we bought a beautiful new mahogany credenza to hold it.

We had been wanting to paint the den, so we did that before setting up the new piece. Afterwards, the old carpet looked terrible, so it seemed like a good time to replace it. But first, it only made sense to paint the rest of the upstairs. Once that work was complete, and the new carpet was installed, the old couch and chair didn’t work. 

We’d been thinking about getting new furniture for the great room on the main floor. Our existing couch and chair were still in good shape, but the size was more appropriate for the upstairs den. We moved it upstairs and bought two small end tables to match the TV stand. 

But then great room was empty. So we bought a new couch, chair, recliner, and ottoman. Which made the area rug look…you guessed it…sad.

As hubby tells it, the death of that one, old television cost us thousands of dollars and spurred a major overhaul. Still, the reno turned out beautifully and we’re happy we made all the changes.

At certain times in our lives we realize that we need a major overhaul, too. I’ve been fortunate enough to see some dramatic examples of change in my own family:

I witnessed my mother, when she was in her 50s, dig deep to take a flight from Philadelphia to Toledo to see her grandchildren, even though she was deathly afraid of flying. At first, she was determined to keep her eyes closed the whole flight. But once my dad convinced her to look out the window, and she saw those white, puffy clouds from above, she was hooked! From that point on she was a flier! She and my dad traveled the country and the world for the next two decades.

One of my sisters was terrified of public speaking. For decades, she avoided it at all costs. But after her son passed away in his late 20s, she decided that life was too short and she had some things to say. She began speaking to audiences about her business and her passion—helping to ensure that seniors who require home care are treated with dignity—and now she does it with ease. She’s also in the process of writing a book about it.

Sometimes traumatic events, whether they’re personal or global, as we’re experiencing right now, serve as wake-up calls that cause us to pay more attention to what we’re doing and how we’re living.

At other, calmer times we just feel a rumbling…a need to make a change. Cautious by nature, I had been ignoring some internal upheaval for a while just before I turned 35. Then, in one single week I got a new job, bought a new car, had my long hair lobbed off, and started back into therapy. I was just…ready.

Unlike home reno shows, where the emphasis is on “reveal day,” our metamorphosis will never really be complete. As Joan Anderson says in A Year by the Sea: Thoughts of an Unfinished Woman, “Life is a work in progress, as ever-changing as a sandy shoreline along the beach.” 

All of us have times when we resist change. We find comfort and security in sameness. But at other times, when we’re ready, it can be exciting to think about personal renewal and growth. Whenever I’ve taken a big step in my life, a friend is good about reminding me that I would probably not have taken that step even five years ago.

It takes courage to make a change, but the “doing” of it inspires confidence in us.

We look back and we’re proud when we see the transformation.

Just like our physical spaces need a little polishing up from time to time, parts of us need some extra love so we can truly shine. 

What part of you needs a little attention right now? Do you feel any rumblings?

Affectionately,

Elaine