Supporting our Military Veterans
Photo by Elaine Klonicki
“Courage. Kindness. Friendship. Character. These are the qualities that define us as human beings, and propel us, on occasion, to greatness.”
~ R.J. Palacio
One of the first funerals I ever attended was that of my 19-year-old cousin, a Marine, who died fighting in Vietnam. I was a sensitive 12-year-old girl, witnessing grief on the faces of his parents and 11 siblings. Perhaps because of the impression it made on me, the challenges of military service members and their families are near and dear to my heart.
Today is Veterans Day, a designated day to thank all those who have served in the U.S Armed Forces “for their patriotism, love of country, and willingness to serve and sacrifice for the common good,” according to this VA site which explains the history of the holiday.
Originally established in 1919 on the one-year anniversary of the Armistice with Germany, to commemorate those who died in WWI, it is still known as Armistice Day or Remembrance Day in other countries. In the U.S., however, it was renamed and expanded to include all military veterans by President Eisenhower in 1954.
Probably because of its complicated history, some Americans confuse Veterans Day with Memorial Day, which is set aside to pay tribute to those who died while serving.
It’s important to learn the difference between the holidays so we can both remember the dead and honor the living.
Do you have veterans in your family or friends who have served? How do you honor them?
I have quite a few relatives who were in the military, including my dad and several uncles, an aunt, two brothers and two brothers-in-law, several cousins, a nephew, and our son-in-law.
We’re proud of all of them.
I’ve mentioned before that I wrote a book about my parents’ lives during WWII, and helped to republish my uncle’s WWII memoir. I learned a lot from those projects about that time period and the sacrifices of those in the Greatest Generation.
A few years ago, while researching freelance articles for Military Officer magazine, I learned about more current topics having to do with the psychological impact of war and some organizations working on behalf of returning vets.
If you have veterans in your family, you know that many of them don’t talk much about their service, at least not without prompting. To a person they are humble servants. I’ve seen countless TV interviews with veterans who have said they were not heroes—they were just doing their jobs.
Many of them were injured while “just doing their jobs.” Despite the best efforts of military hospitals like Walter Reed, where my daughter works, to heal them upon their return, many have lasting physical and emotional scars. We hear a lot about PTSD, but it may be the moral injuries that are most devastating to them as wars have become less defined, and the public reactions to them more mixed. It is society that bears the responsibility for sending service members off to combat, yet soldiers are often stigmatized upon their return for doing what we have asked them to do. The issues are complex, and daunting, intersecting with both politics and ethics.
This week I asked one of my cousins, a retired Army Lt. Colonel, how he felt about Veterans Day. He said, “When we hear ‘Thank you for your service,’ we hear that all the responsibility for what we had to do stays on our shoulders. ‘Thank you for taking that on for the rest of us’ means so much more.”
His point echoed some of the sentiments in this article about how to ask a veteran about his or her service in a way that expresses interest without triggering them. Keep in mind that many veterans do not want to talk about their service at all, but they don’t want to be rude and tell you that outright. If you get vague answers, or any other indication that they don’t want to talk, please respect their privacy. More in-depth questions about why they were drawn to the military or what they found to be most satisfying about their work should be reserved for friends or family members.
Ever since our conversation, I’ve been pondering my cousin’s response and its implication. What can we do to take some of the responsibility off them? What’s our role in the protection of our nation’s freedom?
At the very least, we can support the people who have served.
I’m impressed with the number of organizations that have been formed in the last decade to assist veterans. If you contribute to any of them, as I’m sure some of you do, be sure to do your homework. However well intended, some of the better-known ones now apparently spend more money on administrative costs than they do on vets. And, unfortunately, a few “charities” are outright scams.
My favorite nonprofit is Veterans Community Project, which I heard about in this NBC news story. They build transitional tiny home communities for homeless veterans, complete with support services such as mentoring, counseling, medical, dental, and even veterinary to care for their companion pets. The first village, located in Kansas City, Missouri, is now complete. A second, in St. Louis, is underway, and a third, in Longmont, Colorado, is in the planning stages. I have been following them on social media for some time, and I’m both impressed and inspired.
Another, similar effort, is described in this video about the building of affordable housing neighborhoods for veterans in Santa Clarita, California. The initiative, called Homes 4 Families, requires former service members to participate in the building of their new homes. The organization’s services include financial literacy, health and wellness, and vet-to-vet support for low-income, working veterans.
The message of these organizations is that veterans, who represent only 1 percent of our population in America, have done more than their share to protect us, and now it’s our turn to wrap our arms around them. Although I’ve written some about veterans’ issues, I don’t profess to have any special expertise on how to do that. What I do have (and what I know you have as well), is empathy, concern, and a desire to learn more.
To those of you who have served, we thank you. We may never truly understand your experiences, but we recognize and appreciate your courage in stepping up and the enormous sacrifices you’ve made on our behalf.
Affectionately,
Elaine