It’s all About Emotional Honesty
Photo by Sue Ivy
Hello, and welcome! It’s nice to meet you.
Fall is my favorite season in North Carolina, where I live. Every year we hear predictions about the colors of the leaves. Some years we’re told to expect vibrant intensity, and others, not so much. This year the colors were supposed to be rather dull because of the prolonged drought we had here in September. But I find that, no matter the forecast, the falling leaves are always beautiful, and magical, as is the process that transforms them.
In a sense, they mirror our own journey. We start off very green, too, and how we turn out depends a lot on the nourishment we receive when we’re young, and the environments in which we find ourselves as we grow. Some years we’re more brilliant, and some years we struggle to shine. But I see all of us as wonderfully hued, and our transformations fascinating.
If you’re here, you’re probably someone who likes learning about yourself and others. I do too. I’ve been a writer for a long time, and the topic I like writing about most is people. In doing some research before launching this site, I realized that many personal growth blogs are what I would call positive thinking blogs. They offer enthusiasm, support (“You go!”), and affirmations (“I am a worthy and confident person”), and there’s a place for that. We need all the help we can get, and I’m all for anything that works.
But although I hope you’ll find my blog posts encouraging, and occasionally even inspiring, I’ll be offering something different: alternative ways of viewing ourselves and each other, and practical ways to approach personal and relationship problems, gleaned from the field of psychology.
Many of my suggestions will be based on these two core beliefs:
Honesty with ourselves and others really is the best policy.
If we want to be successful in relationships, we have to have a sincere desire to learn about ourselves and each other and to reserve judgment about what we uncover.
Stephen Covey first opened my eyes to the importance of the latter with his admonition to “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood,” habit #5 in his mega-bestselling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
In my experience, many people are interested in and want to learn more about how we think, how we develop (personally, socially, emotionally, philosophically), how we learn and love, why we struggle with ourselves and others, and why happiness is so elusive.
There are answers to these and many other questions about human behavior, backed by solid science. Psychology might be a new science compared to the “hard sciences” like chemistry and physics, still, psychologists have been studying us for more than 150 years. Many of their findings are published in scientific journals that are—let’s face it—a bit tough to wade through. My goal is to share the most useful stuff with you in digestible bits.
I hope to use my skills to help increase your understanding about the human psyche and to encourage your psychological growth, as I continue to grow myself.
I come from a huge family (talk about opportunities to learn about different “hues”) and I’ve had some counseling during my tough times. I’ve read dozens of self-help books, as well as books about happiness, optimism, and most recently, spiritually based books about the mind-body connection, mindfulness, and meditation. I’m passionate about all of it, and the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is to learn!
If you’re struggling (and who isn’t?), I hope to offer you some new ideas and concepts that will help you be kinder to yourself and others. If you’re a student of human behavior, you’ll have heard some or even many of these concepts before. But when it comes to changing behaviors, practice is crucial, and we need many reminders. Maybe I’ll say something in a way that strikes you differently, or maybe you’ll just hear it at the right time.
I’m hoping that by sharing some of the “Aha!” moments I’ve had in my life, it will lead to you having some of your own.
So that’s a bit about my blog and my hopes for it. Do you want to join me on my journey?
In the next post I’ll tell you a bit more about myself, and then we’ll jump in to the good stuff and talk about one of my favorite new relationship tools: curiosity.
In the meantime, if you want to read more about me, why I created this blog, and what you can expect from it, click here. If you like what you see and want to receive regular updates, subscribe to my blog here.
Thanks for stopping by.
Affectionately,
Elaine
p.s. Just so you know, I’ll be changing the names and some of the identifying details in my examples to protect the privacy of others.