Small Kindnesses can Make a big Difference

Photo by Elaine Klonicki

Tuesday was a tough day. It started with an early-morning call from my endodontist’s office. An appointment had opened up—they could do my root canal at noon. I’ve had two before, and because my roots are not only curved but twisted (see how special I am?), mine are more difficult than most. Never a pleasant prospect, but I was happy for the news that I could get it over with sooner than expected.

When I got there, my blood pressure spiked as it typically does in doctors’ offices. The dentist and his assistant stepped out for a few minutes and I closed my eyes, willing myself to relax. I’m getting better and better at going inside, breathing, and calming myself in these circumstances, despite the bright lights and the noise of the busy office. My blood pressure went down quickly, and the doctor was able to get started.

The kindness offered by the people at the endodontist’s office made a huge difference in my experience this time. The two receptionists greeted me with smiles and a warm welcome. The assistant introduced herself and asked how I was doing. When she saw me tighten up during the rougher parts of the procedure, she put her hand on my shoulder to steady me. The doctor was upbeat and funny, and as he was working, he checked in with me often to make sure I was doing okay.

When I got home, I learned through Facebook that Aila Accad, a friend of a friend, and the author of one of my favorite books, The Call of the Soul, had passed away. I knew she had cancer but didn’t know her prognosis. I only met Aila once in person, at a writing conference. I met her again on Skype, when she virtually attended our book club meeting to talk about her beautiful book. Her words had touched me, and not realizing how sick she was, I had harbored a wish that she would write another book.

Later in the day I learned on Facebook about another death. Audrey Hamner was the sister of my friend Earl Hamner, Jr., creator of The Waltons. She was represented by the fictional character Erin on the TV show. I only met her a few times, but at one of the Waltons International Fan Club reunions, my hubby and I had an opportunity to spend much of the day with her. We escorted her around since Earl was busy interacting with his fans. She was a lot like her brother—very sweet and funny and engaging.

Although I didn’t know either woman well, both of them meant a lot to me. It’s an odd feeling to grieve those whose lives have touched ours so briefly. It’s almost as if we don’t feel entitled, because our loss is not as profound as those in their inner circles.

I was still trying to settle my emotions that evening, just before 9:00 p.m., when I got what I thought was a nuisance call on my phone. I ignored it. A few minutes later, I saw that there was a voicemail. I checked it, and it was my endodontist, inquiring about how I was feeling! I remembered then that one of the reasons I chose him after reading his online reviews was the mention of his practice of checking in with patients afterwards. I texted him that the over-the-counter meds were keeping the pain to a tolerable level, and he called me right back to let me know to contact him should anything change. I felt comforted, and had a good night’s sleep afterwards. 

I saw something on the news the other day about the general state of Covid fatigue we’re all experiencing, which is being amplified by the host of tragic news stories of late. I’m definitely sensing it among my close friends. We can hardly catch our breaths from one tragedy to the next. Our hearts are heavy from the images of suffering, this week from Hurricane Ida in the Gulf Coast states and the Northeast. A friend commented that she can be fine, having a good day, but when she turns on the news for ten minutes, she is upset all over again.

Despite this heaviness, my experience at the dentist reminded me that there are people who keep showing up and doing the best they can to take care of others, no matter the circumstances.

Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness can mean the most to us, even from people who are “just doing their jobs.”

A greeting. A touch. A smile. A check-in.

These simple efforts to connect make us feel seen, and remind us of the goodness that still exists in the world.  

I’m on the Nextdoor App, as I’m sure many of you are. Some of the sweetest posts are when neighbors write to thank a stranger who helped them out in some way. As I’ve said before, we need to keep looking for the helpers. They are a balm for our tired souls. Their selfless acts remind us of how openhearted humans can be.

Life is so precious. This year in particular, we have near daily reminders about how short our time here can be.

Simple kindnesses during hard times show others that we have not lost our humanity.

As Lester Holt says every evening on his Nightly News show, “Take care of yourselves, and each other.”

I’m grateful for his reminder. Our expressions of kindness to each other will get us through these distressing times.

Affectionately,

Elaine