Are you Delaying Your Dreams?

“It is easier to hear the call of the soul when your ego mind relaxes.”
~ Aila Accad

Based on your comments, last week’s post seemed to resonate with many of you. As we learned, the word “grit” means “hard work towards a specific goal over a long period of time.” A high level of talent is not the most important aspect of success.

Many of us have a secret desire to do something more in our lives, something with a larger purpose.

I describe it as “having something on your heart” that you’re called to do. The question is, if talent is not more important than perseverance, what holds so many of us back from achieving our unspoken dreams?

One answer is obvious. There’s only so much time in every day, and there are many activities competing for our attention: the mundane tasks of life, financial responsibilities, social and family obligations.

On one level, what we tell ourselves is true: we’re too busy taking care of today to start something new, even something very meaningful to us. But this argument only goes so far. High achievers and people who make things happen have the same number of hours in the day as we do.

When it comes to our silent aspirations, every time we feel a nudge, we promise ourselves we’ll get to our dreams someday. But we keep moving the mark.

Are we all just procrastinators, then?

Surely there’s a more productive way to move ourselves closer to our goal than saying that’s just how we are?

The definition of procrastination is “the act of delaying or postponing something.” But it’s really just a label for an unhelpful personality trait. We’ll need to dig a little deeper to see what’s behind that “act.”

If you have an idea, and passion, it can be frustrating not to be able to understand what’s truly holding you back. You may not realize how important your sense of self is to your success.

Our deep seated, unconscious, and often limiting beliefs can influence our current behaviors more than we know.

If you’ve tried, and failed, to figure it out, here’s a list of possibilities you may not have considered. I’ve provided a link to an article for each one which includes suggestions for reframing your beliefs so they serve you better:

You are not comfortable asking for help

Most big projects require the involvement of more than one person. If you’re “independent to a fault,” you may want to reevaluate that badge of honor.

Never Ask for Help? 9 Real Reasons You Always Go It Alone

You don’t have enough support

It’s important to have both supporters and challengers when considering new ventures. Try expanding your network, and looking for some folks who will promise to give you their honest opinion but will also have your back no matter what.

Why Strangers Support you more than the People you Know

You have a fear of failure

A fear of failure is typically not about failure itself, but a fear of shame that can arise from the possibility of letting others down. The solution is to work on becoming more resourceful and developing the competencies you need to increase your chances of success.

10 Signs you Might have a Fear of Failure

You have a fear of success.
This one seems counterintuitive—don’t we all want success? On some level, yes, but most ventures can’t go unattended for long. You may have concerns about the commitment necessary to sustain your idea long term, and the degree to which other people will be relying on you.

Explaining the Fear of Success

You have ADHD.
People with ADHD have been shown to have more creativity and idea generation than people without the disorder. But ADHD can also lead to poor self-esteem because it makes it more difficult to follow through on those ideas. You may need to learn additional coping skills, time management tips, and other tools to keep yourself on track.

Surprising Benefits of Having ADHD

If you’ve been dreaming of making a bigger impact on your community, or even on the world, you may want to take some time to ponder what’s holding you back. Some internal work may be in order (incorporating some of these suggestions above) so you can make progress following the call of your soul.

Affectionately,

Elaine

P.S. For an inspirational story of someone who followed his dreams after going on a spiritual quest, you might enjoy a book I bought for my hubby for Father’s Day called Shoe Dog: A Memoir by the Creator of Nike.