Days Like These

“I was so upset, I forgot to be happy.”
~ Eeyore

You know those days when it seems like it’s one upsetting thing after the other, and you just can’t catch a break? A no-coffee-in-the-house, stub-your-toe, run-out-of-gas kind of day?

We all have them from time to time.

Musicians even write songs about them. Remember “Mama Said There’ll be Days Like This”?

Bad days can make you feel defeated. Sometimes they begin with a terrible incident or disappointment that’s hard to recover from. But more often than not, it’s just a string of annoyances, each one making the day worse, until finally you want to throw in the towel.

As I write this, I’m acutely aware that a “bad day” is a very relative term. So many are truly suffering in our country and around the world. Our first world problems don’t compare to the genuine tragedies we see on the news every night.

Still, when a bad day is happening to you, it can feel awful.

These typical reactions, of which we may be unaware, can make our moods worse rather than better:

Catastrophizing. How you talk to yourself on tough days is one of the best indicators of how adept you’ll be at pulling yourself out of it. What’s your first thought when things go wrong? Is it one of these?

Oh, here we go again!
Why do these things only happen to me?
I can’t win for trying.
Things never go my way!
Worst. Day. Ever.

If you tend to be an Eeyore rather than a Pooh, you’ll have some work to do to fight your habitual pattern of negativity. When we’re feeling down, it’s easy to think of our situation as permanent and out of our control. Some of the links in this post can help you learn to reframe those thoughts. The likelihood is that the setbacks you’re encountering are temporary, and that there may be an action you can take to right things. Reframing can help you switch to problem-solving mode, and as you begin to think of solutions, you’ll naturally feel better.

Try not to keep track. Sometimes it’s almost unbelievable how many things can go wrong in a single day. Still, however tempting it is to count your troubles, it can make you feel worse. Keeping a mental list might help you to feel justified about feeling the way you do, but piling on just drains our energy further rather than helping us become more resilient.

It’s been my observation that the older we get, the better we get at weathering storms in our lives.

Throughout the course of our lifetimes, largely through trial and error, we learn what works and what doesn’t when it comes to putting a spring back in our step.

Here are some healthy practices to improve your mood that I wish I’d known when I was younger:

Honor your feelings. “When you have a terrible day, there should definitely be a time and place to have your feelings so you can process them,” says the writer of this post on the Daily OM.

Look for the positive. Another Daily OM writer explains in her post that, “Though we may feel discouraged and distressed on our bad days, a bad day can teach us patience and perseverance…having a bad day can show you that it is time to slow down, change course, or lighten up.”

Keep things in perspective. I follow two people who live in Ukraine on Facebook. One is a musician and the other is an artist. Both are sharing information about the plight of people in their country to make sure their struggles are not forgotten. For me, the posts are a frequent reminder of our relative freedom and safety.

Turn to the experts. When we’re feeling low, it can be hard to come up with good ideas on our own to get us out of our rut. This Inc. article and this Bustle article have suggestions for helping you bounce back (like Tigger!).

Try to laugh it off. Whenever I’m having a hard day, I think of the classic ‘80s children’s book Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Voirst. Just the title makes me laugh. One day young Alexander experiences a string of upsetting events, and he relates them in a stream-of-consciousness style that’s hilarious. He keeps telling his mom that he should just move to Australia, where he’s sure bad things don’t happen.

However you manage to get through it, when you wake up on the day after your terrible horrible, no good, very bad day, it’s important to figure out how to recover from it so that one day doesn’t turn into two. Hopefully you’ll find some of the techniques in this post helpful for getting you through the rough times.

If you want a quick boost, listen to this uplifting Van Morrison reinterpretation of “Days Like This” in which he reflects on how very good some days can be. Going forward, I’m wishing you more of them!

Affectionately,

Elaine