Being the Light in Dark Times
Photo by Sue Ivy
“Don’t you know it yet? It is your light that lights the world’s.”
~ Rumi
I hear it several times a week. One of my friends mentions that they can hardly stand to turn on the news anymore. From the war, to the mass shootings, to the ugly politics, to the shortage of baby formula, the images are just too heartbreaking to take in. We glance at the headlines, just enough to be informed, and then turn back to our lives. But the stories stay with us, and leave us feeling unsettled.
We want to help heal the world, but what can we do?
More specifically, what can one person do?
This week I was moved by this blog post by Liz Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love called “Agent of Illumination.” She tells the story of a bus driver in New York City who made a very simple, but very creative, gesture that had a profound effect on his passengers.
The troubles of the world are so overwhelming, we forget that there are small steps we can take individually to help ease the burdens of those in our immediate circles. Rather than simply turn away, the bus driver’s story, which resulted in “faces gleaming with surprised delight,” reminds us that we have the power to affect others around us every day.
Here are some ideas that came to me after reading Liz’s piece:
1. Smile.
In his senior years, my Uncle Dick, who lived in Muncie, Indiana, used to go out for an early morning “constitutional” in his neighborhood. As he walked, he noticed the serious expressions on the faces of the commuters. He was a happy-go-lucky guy, so it bothered him to see people looking so stressed on their way to work. One day as he stood on the corner of a busy intersection, he started waving and smiling to the drivers passing by. Their faces immediately brightened up, and it made him feel good to think that he was bringing some momentary joy into people’s lives. Neighbors started to comment about how good it made them feel, and how it got their day off on the right track. They began to miss him on days when he wasn’t at his post.
Taking his lead, I did something similar when my mom moved into an independent living residence. As I walked down the hallways, I saw that many of the older folks had their heads down as they navigated the hallways in their wheelchairs and walkers, and their expressions seemed somber. I started smiling and saying hello to each one as I passed, and to a person they would pick their head up and reward me with a bright smile as they greeted me in return. It only takes a few seconds to connect with someone by smiling at them, and it makes everyone feel so much better.
2. Extend an invitation.
Last week our book club met in person for the first time since last summer. Being invited to someone else’s home for an evening was such a delight, and one many of us are still missing out on. After a huge round of hugs, we moved to her patio for dessert (all store bought, but oh-so-good!) and Peach Bellini, an Italian cocktail that was new to me. The temperature was perfect, there was soft music playing, and the birds were chirping. It was magical. We did this beautiful and moving meditation on creativity before going inside to create collages using cut out images from magazines, which was great fun. Much as it can be fun to cook for people if you’re in the mood, you don’t have to go to all that work to have people over. Cocktails and desserts work just fine.
3. Surprise someone!
During the worst of the pandemic, several friends starting dropping treats off on my doorstep for my birthday, holidays, or when I was sick. Bread from a specialty bread store, fancy cookies, a pretty notebook or journal, a book (even hand-me-down ones), a balloon, or flowers. Every time it happened, I felt like a kid again. Happy surprises make us feel special, and help take the edge off hard times.
4. Check on friends who are laid up.
We’re getting to the age where my friends, most of whom are baby boomers, are starting to have surgeries on a more frequent basis. From rotator cuff tears, to cataracts, to knee replacements, they are being proactive so they can enjoy their favorite activities or sports for many more years. Since many of us don’t cook as much anymore, and increasingly people have food allergies, it can be daunting to figure out what to offer them. I have started texting people ahead of time to ask if I can drop off dinner, and asking them to send me their order from a favorite local restaurant along with their preferred delivery time. That way they can get just what they want, and it eliminates the stress for all.
5. Show your appreciation.
As an author, I am incredibly touched when my readers leave comments on my blog, or write online reviews for my books. Just a sentence or two boosts my mood and makes me feel like I am making a difference. Consider writing a positive review for an author (even a popular one) whose book has touched or entertained you, or a local business person who has provided you with good customer service. Words of appreciation are powerful and stay with us for a long time.
6. Help keep people hydrated.
Last week we already hit 96 degrees in Raleigh, and it’s still May! Our summers are long and hot in North Carolina, and when our heat index rises, it can actually be dangerous to work outside. Whenever we have service people here at the house, we offer them chilled bottled water. Some decline, saying they have water in their truck, but others gratefully accept it and down it in our presence. Even a simple bottle of refreshing water can feel like a treat to someone who is working up a sweat, especially when they are working on your behalf.
7. Pay it forward.
One of the sad stories on the news is the number of people who are struggling with their finances these days. This is an especially good time to resurrect the idea of paying it forward. Whether it’s in a drive-thru line, in person at a coffee shop or restaurant, or even in a grocery store, if you pay in advance for someone’s food or drink, they will certainly appreciate it. More than that, they will be amazed that someone went to the effort to do it. A friend’s brother was flabbergasted when he took his prom date to a fancy restaurant, and someone else picked up the tab. He never found out who it was. Kind acts such as these remind us of the goodness in people.
~~~
As Liz Gilbert says in her post, “There are times when everything seems cloaked in darkness. You long for the light but don’t know where to find it.
But what if you are the light? What if you are the very agent of illumination that a dark situation begs for?”
What simple act can you do this week to brighten the day for someone else in your world?
Affectionately,
Elaine