Perspective for Unsettling Times

Photo by Sensei Minimalist on Unsplash

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
~ Maya Angelou

“Words fail.”

The day after 9/11, I went to mass at my church, St. Francis of Assisi, with a friend. When it came time for the sermon, our priest stood there at the podium with tears in his eyes. He struggled to gain his composure.

We understood.

Finally, after a minute or so, he was able to utter those two words: “Words fail.”

Last week’s invasion of Ukraine has similarly left us all at a loss for words.

We are in shock. We are horrified. We are heartbroken.

As we continue to witness the tragedy unfolding before our eyes in slow motion, it’s easy to get overwhelmed.

With 9/11, our world changed in seconds as we watched the first, and then the second plane hit the World Trade Center without warning.

With Ukraine we had warning, but we didn’t want to believe it. We just couldn’t imagine that one country could so boldy invade another in Europe right before our eyes in the 21st century. That was something that happened long ago in our parents’ and grandparents’ time during the world wars.

Surely, we thought, this will not actually happen.

And so, as the shelling began and the tanks began rolling across the border, we were as shocked as if we had no warning. We kept looking at our TV screens, and then looking away.

It didn’t take long for the whole world to renounce the invasion and quickly unite behind the Ukrainian people.

But, if we’re honest, beyond the fears we have for both their citizens and soldiers, we also have concerns for ourselves. We wonder what impact this event will have on our daily lives in the weeks and months to come. And how it will ever be resolved.

The timing, just as the Covid numbers seem to be dropping and we’ve had the occasional warm afternoon, hinting of spring, is especially hard. Every time our spirits start to lift in these Covid times, we seem to get knocked down again. (Unbelievably, it has been two years this month since we first stayed at home “for two weeks” to “flatten the curve.”)

“How much more can the world take?” we ask.

And yet if we step back and think about the bigger picture, we know that, just as they do in our personal lives, tragedies across the globe ebb and flow. There will always be times of relative peace and times of conflict.

How are we to handle the latest devastating news?

As we begin to accept that this is happening to Ukraine, our thoughts turn to what we can do to help. Wars are so much worse than natural events such as earthquakes, fires, and mudslides, as the potential for death and destruction is greater and more widespread.

Even if we don’t know anyone who is directly affected, we are moved by the enormity of it.

Yet again, Glennon Doyle, author of Untamed, has stepped up. Her charity Together Rising has already offered funds to organizations on the ground. This was their statement on social media last week:

“Together Rising has committed an initial $250,000 to Ukraine—$150,000 of which is already on the ground right now—for the most urgent needs, including medical supplies, food, and cash, as well as medical and psychological support.

Our investment has been entrusted to two of our partners, World Jewish Relief and Direct Relief. Both sprung into action immediately, uniquely positioned to do so because of how deeply embedded they are in communities across Ukraine.

If you would like to join in supporting this continued solidarity, you can give at togetherrising.org/give.”

Another organization, World Central Kitchen, founded by celebrity chef José Andrés, is on the border of Ukraine, handing out hot meals to refugees fleeing the war. To support them, go to https://donate.wck.org/give/236738/#!/donation/checkout.

As we make our way through this disturbing time, beyond watching just enough news coverage to be informed, we can continue to pray, and hold the Ukrainian people in our hearts.

But we also have to find a way to move through our own days. I continue to look to Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED Talk It’s OK to Feel Overwhelmed. Here’s What to do Next for guidance. She says, “When you’re on empathetic overload or in an empathetic meltdown, you can’t help anyone else…Instead, learn to have the courage to witness another person’s pain without inhabiting it so you can be a helper rather than another victim.”

Beyond that, what helps me cope is to focus on the beautiful, magical gifts of life that inspire and uplift us every day. This week I found it in:

-A photo of the Empire State building lit up with the colors of the Ukrainian flag.

-A photo of Times Square with hundreds of people standing in solidarity with Ukraine, holding a long running banner of yellow and blue.

-This touching post by Katrina Kennison encouraging us to take note of all the special moments of joy in our lives.

-A few random Facebook posts that remind us how amazing the world is: this plant that looks like an actual bird, these incredible nature videos, and this lovely Daddy/Daughter duet of “Bridge Over Troubled Waters.”

These are early days in this terrible conflict, and none of us know how it will turn out. I encourage you to take good care of yourself even as you extend compassion to those who are suffering. Try some of these guidelines for self-care based on Russian refugee Nataly Kogan's inspiring journey.

Affectionately,

Elaine