How Microjoys can Help us Live More Fully
Photo by Elaine Klonicki
“That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet.”
~ Emily Dickinson
When you were a kid, did you play with whirligigs that rained down from maple or ash trees in the early spring? You might have called them helicopters, whirlers, or twisters, but the technical name is samaras seed pods.
It’s been a windy week here in the Southeast, so the pods have been raining down in abundance from a tree across the street, and swirling around our property. Which is no surprise, given how aerodynamic they are. If you’re curious, you can read more about the flight of this sweet and fleeting offering from Mother Nature here.
The seed pods are all over the edges of our street, driveway, and lawn at present, having pooled in various places at the end of their flight. I suspect many people see them as nuisances, but I’m fascinated by them. I like watching them glide on the wind on their way down.
Up close, they remind me of simple, carefree moments from my childhood. Did you used to press your fingers and thumbs into the tacky ends, and stick them on your nose when you were little as my siblings and I did?
The timing of the whirlygigs’ arrival coincides with my reading of a book titled Microjoys: Finding Hope (Especially) When Life is Not Okay by Cyndie Spiegel.
The whirligig phenomenon is a perfect example of a microjoy—which the author describes as “hidden wisdom, long-ago memories, subtle treasures, and ordinary delights that surround us.”
In an interview on The Today Show, Spiegel talks about her concept, as well as what led her to write her book: a string of heartbreaking losses she suffered within a very short period in 2020-2021. Her recovery is a tribute to the resilience of the human spirit.
I’ve written about the concept of paying attention to the present moment before:
Beginning a Mindfulness Practice
Spiegel has a slightly different take on the “present moment” concept. She explains that microjoys are not just small moments of joy. She defines them as ones that are accessible to you right now, despite whatever you are going through, especially ones that take you back to fun moments from your past. Photos on your phone are a great example.
As Spiegel says, “Once we’ve journeyed the depth of loss—whether physical, emotional, tangible, or intangible—from the core of our being comes the capacity to seize every experience differently. To become more curious and empathetic, to live more fully and be less afraid.” She explains that, “even during the most challenging of times, microjoys are still available to us.”
As often happens when I am working a blog post, an article came into my Facebook feed today on a related concept. It summarizes a study that shows how we underestimate the importance of ordinary, everyday moments while they are happening. Subjects were asked to journal about daily events for a few days, and evaluate how interesting they believed the events would be to them in the future. What the researchers found is that months later, the subjects appreciated reading about the mundane events much more than they believed they would.
The researchers concluded that most of us know it’s important to record extraordinary events, but discount the importance of recording everyday happenings which might later prove to be meaningful to us.
They found that often a single memory can bring to mind a myriad of past experiences we’re happy to recall.
If you’re feeling alone, or are having a hard time, look for an old journal to crack open, try going through your closet to remember a dress or suit you wore to a fancy event that you enjoyed. Or look through your desk to find something you wrote long ago or evidence about a project that made you feel successful.
Even if what you find stirs unexpected painful memories, after the initial sting, remind yourself that you got through it, have come out the other side, and are stronger for it.
So much of life occurs during the times in between major events.
“Microjoys require us to pay attention to the details and acknowledge the fleeting, often miraculous nature of the everyday,” explains Spiegel. We can do this whenever we want and as often as we need to.
When we’re struggling, one solution is to purposefully put ourselves in the way of beauty.
The whirlygigs spurred other childhood memories for me as well: pulling the style from honeysuckle to taste the bead of sweet nectar and sitting in the grass and making clover necklaces.
What ordinary moments in your life can you reflect back on to lift your mood, especially when you’re having a hard time?
What microjoys can you find in your day today to give yourself a quick pick-me-up?
Please share in the comments so we can enjoy each other’s fond memories.
Affectionately,
Elaine