The Benefits of Self-Reflection

“It’s on the strength of observation and reflection that one finds a way.”
~ Claude Monet

How often do you take the time to do a deep dive on your life?

If you’re like most people, the answer is “not often.” Americans, especially, are ambitious, motivated people. We think we’re only doing well if we’re staying busy and accomplishing a lot. When we’re stressed to the max with schedules largely of our own making, it’s hard to imagine slowing down enough to do peaceful solo activities.

Despite the fact that a few hours to ourselves always sounds so delicious, it’s not easy to switch gears. If you’re a go getter, activities like meditation, mindfulness, and self-reflection may seem like things other people do.

But research shows that people who take the time to reflect actually perform better.

As Stephen Covey told us so long ago, ”sharpen the saw” activities can actually increase our effectiveness.

The Dalai Lama agrees. “Meditative practice allows us to quiet the distracting thoughts and feelings so that we can perceive reality, and respond to it more skillfully,” he explains in The Book of Joy. “With a deeper understanding of reality, you can go beyond appearances and relate to the world in a much more appropriate, effective, and realistic manner.”

When we talk about deep thinking, especially about ourselves and what’s going on in our lives, there are several closely-related concepts that come to mind:

Introspection is the act of looking inward in order to access your own judgments, perceptions, and motivations.

Self-reflection involves the contemplation of your thoughts, feelings, and actions. It is where processing takes place—which often involves asking yourself questions about your needs, desires, and goals.

Insight is often the result of introspection and self-reflection—it’s where solutions arise and decisions are made about what to do going forward.

We can hardly open a magazine these days without finding an article on the importance of slowing down, being present, and focusing on our purpose in life. The benefits are many, especially for our health, well being, and for living with more intention.

Quiet time alone with ourselves provides unique opportunities for understanding and self-awareness.

And yet, we rarely do it!

Let’s take a look at some of the possible reasons why.

1. We don’t have time. Or that’s what we tell ourselves. Our internal truth meter tells us this is only half true since we can often find the time for activities that don’t require much mental energy—such as watching mindless TV or scrolling through social media. Even though evaluating our lives requires effort, making the time to do so in the short run can make a big difference in the long run. Some thoughtful contemplation may actually give us more time if it helps us to set healthy boundaries or make better decisions about how we are spending our days.

2. We don’t know how to do it. Some people are naturally reflective, and require a lot of processing time. Others have learned the value of introspection at some point in their lives, perhaps through therapy. But some people, for whatever reason, are reluctant to look inward. They have likely found that if they stay busy, their uncomfortable feelings won’t catch up with them too often. If this describes you, here are some reasons you may want to reconsider that strategy, and start a daily habit of getting to know yourself better.

3. We don’t have a structure that facilitates it. Most of us simply haven’t developed the habit of taking focused time for introspection. It’s not something parents usually think to impress upon their children. Some people also feel that self-reflection is not necessary when things are going well. I find it helpful to understand the positive elements that are supporting me, like my membership in a spiritually based book club, so I can make sure to continue incorporating them into my schedule.

4. We’re not ready yet. Sometimes an event happens that is so monumental, our body becomes temporarily overwhelmed with emotion. We know we will need to reflect on what happened at some point, but early on it just feels too big to handle. We need some time and space to recover before exploring what it will mean for us going forward. When this is the case, don’t rush yourself. Let your body absorb the impact and heal first; the time for introspection will come.

5. Change is hard. It’s intimidating to take a good look at ourselves and how we’re living, because we might not like what we see. Or want to deal with what comes up when we do, especially if it would require making a big change in our lives. Change is hard, but ignoring our dissatisfaction is not the answer. “Taking time to reflect means slowing down enough to stop, enjoy the adventure and figure out what is really important to YOU,” shares the author of this blog post.

Some of the benefits of self-reflection can be better relationships, a greater sense of self, and stronger decision-making skills, says another writer, who offers 15 Essential Ways to Practice Self-Reflection. She explains that “at its simplest, reflection is about careful thought.”

If the idea intrigues you, but you don’t know how to get started, begin by looking back at a particular situation or an event that has happened to see what you can learn from it, or focus on one or more areas of your life that need attention.

Check out these blogs for some more information and some targeted questions for you to consider:

How Self-Reflection Gives you a Happier and More Successful Life
Are you Taking Time out to Reflect?

If you can, take some quiet time for yourself this week. Look inside and see what comes up for you. You’ll be glad you did!

Affectionately,

Elaine