How to Calm Your Busy Mind

“To be calm is the highest achievement of the self.”
~ Zen proverb

For years I’ve hoped that information about mental health and wellness would become more mainstream, and that the stigma surrounding treatment would be reduced as people became better informed. It’s finally happening! We’re seeing commercials for calming apps for your phone and talk therapy on sites like Talkspace, pitched by Michael Phelps.

Even before Covid, anxiety and depression were on the rise in the U.S., especially in teens. The more I hear about how overwhelmed they are by the pressure to do well in so many different arenas, the more I feel for them. We know several kids starting college, and they still don’t have a good understanding of how it will go this fall.

From what I’ve read, there’s a massive surge in stress-related conditions for both teens and adults, and it’s no surprise. Therapists are busier than ever as people look for some relief.

Based on my own positive experiences with it, I highly recommend psychotherapy to anyone who is interested.

www.PsychologyToday.com has a search function that allows you to find someone based on location, insurance, issue, and treatment style. Many studies over the years have shown that therapy works. Even for people who end up needing medication, the combination of meds and talk therapy work better than meds alone.

The tide is turning, and people are finally beginning to understand that paying attention to their emotional health is essential to living a successful life.

In addition to seeking professional help, many people are trying stress-reduction techniques for the first time, either on their own or through online classes. Two of the most effective and easy-to-learn tools for managing anxiety are mindfulness and meditation. Both rely on similar elements—learning to let go of stressful thoughts, bringing your attention to the present, slowing your breath, and focusing. Both techniques help lower blood pressure and enhance the immune system.

Much of our stress is caused by either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Unknowingly, we bypass much of our present experience! Borrowing from Eastern traditions, mindfulness teaches people to calm their active minds and get in touch with their inner worlds by attending to the present moment.

You can set an intention to become more aware of yourself and your emotional state by doing periodic “check ins.”

The goal is to be able to observe what is happening and take note of your feelings as they arise (before they overwhelm you), and to do so without judgment. Here’s a site that can help you get started.

Studies have shown that doing this actually changes how the brain functions. Once you develop the habit, you can return at various times throughout the day to an awareness of your breath, while at the same time disengaging from your endless flow of thoughts.

We’ve all been in that state where we’re so distraught we can’t think. Practicing mindfulness regularly calms your emotional center and increases activity in the part of the brain that controls higher level thinking. It can help lessen suffering by allowing you to handle everyday problems from a more centered place.

Meditation is a deeper state of relaxation that typically involves closing your eyes, intentionally slowing down your breathing, and relaxing your body, often one area at a time. Doing so lowers your blood pressure and heart rate, relieving tension. It is somewhat akin to what happens to your body as you are falling asleep—and can feel like that in-between state where you are barely conscious.

You can meditate by yourself or with a teacher. Most people can only achieve a few minutes of relaxation to start with, but develop the ability to meditate longer over time. Beginners often find it easier to listen to a voice coaching them. Guided imagery involves hearing someone talking you through a series of mental pictures while you’re trying to visualize them. For example, walking through a beautiful forest or a secret garden. The goal is to make the interior scene so realistic, it triggers a calming emotional response. Often meditation is a mix of some guided imagery and some quiet time where you “go inside” to achieve a deeper level of relaxation. One of my favorite sites for free meditations is www.TaraBrach.com. You can choose the length of the meditation or the topic.

If you’re too overwhelmed to even think about delving into these practices right now, you can still help your body to relax by taking a moment here and there to focus on something calming in your environment.

Many people are drawn to nature, and find it soothing. Going outside is best, but even viewing the natural world from your window can help. I find that just tracking the clouds as they pass by in my high windows in my living room relaxes me. From my desk in the kitchen I can see birds and squirrels play, and occasionally I’m treated to a glimpse of a family of deer passing through. Just a few moments of viewing nature can do wonders.

Since we spend so much time looking at our computer screens, our eye muscles are shortened, so focusing on a far tree top can help stretch and balance them. I try to choose a leaf or a branch that is the farthest thing in my field of vision, and concentrate on it for a few moments. It feels really good! As you focus, try to relax your neck and shoulders, and slow your breathing.

No matter the method, over time you can train your body to relax when you need it to, which allows you to return to your work or family life a bit more refreshed.

Whatever you’re doing to promote your mental and emotional health while we’re waiting for the new, post-Covid normal, I support you.

Peace.

Affectionately,

Elaine