The Struggle to Forgive

The decision to offer someone forgiveness is often a difficult one. Understanding some of the factors involved may lead to greater compassion, and eventually to the possibility of reconciliation.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiMay 27, 2020forgiveness, healing, tension, relationships, reconciliation, intention, self-image, apology, parenting, conditioning, shame, defenses, frustration, mercy, resentments, strugglesComment

Why Can’t we Just Let It Go?

It takes time for us to process the array of emotions that comes with a significant transgression against us. But when we’re ready, our hearts will begin to soften and we will sense that forgiveness is possible.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiMay 20, 2020forgiveness, perfectionism, cognitive dissonance, relationships, grief, pain, hurt, emotions, disappointment, shock, personal crisis, sadness, growth, change, defenses, anger Comments

How to be Yourself

Our personalities are formed in part as a reaction to our early environments. The Enneagram model can help us understand our acquired personality traits, and provide a pathway for growth so that we can get closer to our true essence.

What’s Behind our Lack of Motivation?

Boredom is one of those feeling states that can move us to make a change. If we take steps to address our lack of motivation, it can lead to a spurt in creativity or productivity.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiMay 6, 2020boredom, motivation, stimulation, arousal, lack of motivation, depression, anxiety, performance, productivity, homeostasis, balance, creativity, environmentComment

Finding Your Calm

Worry, stress, and anxiety are separate conditions. It can be helpful to discern which you are experiencing. Activities that distract your mind and calm your body can make you feel better.

Make Room for Love

All couples have ongoing differences. Learning to accept each other’s personality traits without judgment and using affection and humor when we communicate about them can make room for more loving feelings.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiApril 18, 2020love, relationships, personality differences, judgements, acceptance, pacing, feelings, behaviors, stress, perceptions, emotional connection, conflict resolution, peace, happiness, control, admiration Comments

Life's Rich Pageant

It makes sense to honor the collective sadness related to this virus. But then we need to carry on, even joyfully, as those who have passed on would likely want us to.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiApril 15, 2020resilience, negative emotions, positive emotions, joy, empathy, compassion, grieving, rebirth, resurgenceComment

You're Stronger Than you Know

You can learn to increase your level of “psychological resilience,” or the ability to mentally and emotionally cope with a crisis, at any age. Now is a good time to start.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiApril 8, 2020inner strength, resilience, hope, connection, humor, faith, Elizabeth Gilbert, imagination, fear, conquering fear, anxiety, gratitude, stress, managing stress, present moment, do-overs Comments

Look for the Helpers

As Mr. Rogers advised, in scary times we have to “look for the helpers.” We’ve been seeing the helpers in abundance this week, with neighbors helping neighbors all over the world.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiApril 1, 2020helpers, compassion, coping mechanisms, emotions, handling emotions, love, concern, display of loveComment

How our Stress Language Affects our Relationships

We all have different reactions to stress. There are healthy ways to manage our stress that don’t involve taking it out on others, especially those for whom we care the most.

We Can Get Through This Together

These are not easy times, but human beings are incredibly resilient. There are many ways to cope with our current predicament, including embracing humor, gratitude, and virtual gatherings.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiMarch 18, 2020Elaine Klonicki, the authentic lane, stress, anxiety, coping, survival tips, humor, obsessions, connecting, gratitude, fear, disappointments, strugglesComment

How Boundaries Help us Navigate Relationships - Part II

We feel most comfortable in relationships when we know how to behave and what to expect from our loved ones. Boundaries, when properly expressed, can greatly simplify relationships and keep us from stepping on each other’s toes.

Posts by ElaineElaine KlonickiMarch 11, 2020boundaries, relationships, Elaine Klonicki, the authentic lane, personal boundaries, communication, healthy boundaries, unhealthy boundaries, internal boundaries, setting boundaries, proactive boundaries, understand boundaries, learning about boundariesComment

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